February 2012
11 posts
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“He has always reminded me that there is no substitution for hard work and…TALENT...”
– Natalya, recalling advice from Bret Hart. It’s true, talent can’t be stopped, but clearly it can be saddled with a terrible gimmick.
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“He is the greatest in ring performer I have ever seen. The fact that his talent...”
– Steve Austin, unaware of the rumors that Shawn Michaels doesn’t actually hunt the deer, but merely badmouths them backstage to the head bookers
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“I got bumped off Mania 19 for Miller Light Girls”
– Lance Storm. This explains a lot, actually.
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The CM Punk/Chris Brown Twitter war gives me an...
How about a tag match main event at Wrestlemania: Chris Brown and Pacman Jones against CM Punk and Judy Bagwell.
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“One Man Gang [big believer in UFO’s & alien abductions]”
– Missy Hyatt, probably revealing why the Gang always yelled “MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON” before his matches
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“I’m cooking grilled Chilean sea bass, sliced mango on the side…nah, that’s B.S....”
– The Rock, finally giving specifics to the key question
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“Apparently Vachon had consumed plenty of liquor and beer, and was then given...”
– I’m making a mental note not to travel with the Vachons.
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JBL, forgetting that Ron Simmons has money, and I...
I hope it’s true and I would be honored to induct him-right now though I am scheduled to be at a rugby game that night.
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January 2012
12 posts
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"Yes, I intend, and I've been asked to be apart of...
Yes, I intend, and I’ve been asked to be apart of it. So let’s go, let’s see what happens.”
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“WWE Has 16 Writers, Vince Has Final Say”
– 411mania, topping even yesterday’s entry in the Least Predictable Headlines competition
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“Ole Anderson Criticizes Vince McMahon”
– 411mania, disqualifying itself from the Site With Least Predictable Headlines competition
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“From dropping two of her daughters off at school with her husband, Executive...”
– the WWE, stoking the flames for a Steph-based reality show. CLAMOR, PEOPLE, CLAMOR
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December 2011
1 post
1 tag
November 2011
4 posts
3 tags
“The paper reports Linda Bollea received $7.44 million of the couple’s...”
– Reason #1 why we may see another “Hulkamania” tour in the next year or two
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BE A MAN COLTS
Just noticed this in a piece about the Manning- and hap-less Indianapolis Colts holding a team meeting with an address by veteran center Jeff Saturday:
“He didn’t have to yell, he didn’t have to scream or sound like a macho man or Randy Savage,” Wayne said. “Play football, nothing else. Love football, nothing else. Be a man, nothing else.”
“Be a...
October 2011
7 posts
4 tags
MULKEYMANIA LIVES
Our shadowy acquaintance known as McCheese sent this along. Reason number one why this event is called Night of the Legends:
* The Rock N’ Roll Express vs. Kevin Nash and a mystery partner (likely Diamond Dallas Page)
* Tommy Dreamer vs. Terry Funk
* Perry Saturn vs. CW Anderson
* Dave Finlay vs. “Loose Cannon” Alex Silva (with Buddy Landell).
* Sonjay Dutt vs. OVW star...
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Can I ask a question about the 10/10/11 Raw
If Mr. Laurinaitis is now in charge of the company - essentially the 2011 version of Mr. McMahon - then he’s going to need a stooge, won’t he?
Can it PLEASE be Shane Douglas?
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Wrestling news scramble: The Best in the World. At...
*CM Punk gets slimed in Australia while doing a sketch with the cast of iCarly. So we now know that slime is drug and alcohol free.
*(Part of) this headline is great: “Triple H stands alone.” Ok, it’s not really that great, but it made me think that Triple H should henceforth be dubbed “The Cheese” and that is great.
*Speaking of standing alone: all those guys...
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Next week on Raw
Triple H’s daughter Aurora is named the new Chief Operating Officer, and she has to fire dad the way he fired Vince. “I love you, Pop,” she says, tearfully.
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Can I ask a question about the 10/3/11 Raw
Triple H says he’s “a bit old school.” So if the entire RAW roster has walked out, why couldn’t he just replace them with the original RAW roster?
Think about it.
Koko B. Ware in the opening match? Yes.
Charlie Minn on the broadcast team? YES.
Undertaker and Damien Demento in the main event? Hell yes.
So we get started… Monday then?
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Can I ask a question about Smackdown
Is it me, or does the “Twin Cara” angle feel a little familiar? I mean, you’ve got a fake Sin Cara taking off his mask to reveal another mask. It’s right out of the KISS “Unmasked” album cover.
Now they need to do a storyline based on the TV movie “KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park,” and have Twin Cara revealed as a robotic clone of Anthony...
September 2011
3 posts
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I should write an Ultimate Warrior cover letter.
“AS I WAS LOOKING TO THE SKY AND THE HEAVENS ABOVE THE GODS SPOKE TO ME OF A CAREER OPPORTUNITY THE NORMALS WOULD NOT UNDERSTAND”
August 2011
6 posts
1 tag
Goodbye, Baltimore Sun; hello, WWE →
Next time I hear “creative doesn’t have anything” for a wrestler, I’m blaming YOU, Kevin Eck!
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The Five Weirdest Things in That Ric Flair Article
And to think we used to say that Ric Flair was wrestling’s answer to Kirk “Can I Borrow a Feeling” Van Houten! No, the truth is Ric Flair is wrestling’s answer to Krusty the Klown, spending money on condor egg omelets and betting against the Harlem Globetrotters until the only thing left to do to raise dough is open a clown college. Which is apparently the only...
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YouTube Free Jazz: Ultimate Warrior Remix →
YouTube Free Jazz takes sound from videos with the keyword “jazz” and melds them together in a sound collage. The best part is that you can change the keyword to, say, “Ultimate Warrior.” Listen to the ULLLLLLLLLLLTIMATE YOUTUBE MASHUP
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July 2011
30 posts
3 tags
"John Cena is poopy"
The WWE Shop has sold out of every single CM Punk item there is. Which just proves Punk’s point that he should have more merchandise. WE WANT ICE CREAM!
Punk’s appearance on Jimmy Kimmel is worth at least one new product. In addition to the “best in the world” shirt, I want a CM Punk shirt that says the following: “My vocabulary far exceeds the lexicon of my current...
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Wrestling news scramble: Andre the Dreaded Rear...
*This I did not need to know: Andre the Giant would check the oil while making the cover. True, this is according to the Hulkster, who I think once said his head fell off and rolled down the aisle of the Pontiac Silverdome when he slammed Andre at Wrestlemania III, but it would explain why so few people kicked out when Andre pinned them.
By the way, if you don’t know what checking the...
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““As a senior WWE.com writer, I would like to publicly apologize to...”
– WWE writer Craig Tello. He really should apologize - to Brisco and Patterson, for suggesting that Johnny Ace is “stooge” quality
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“As Triple H came out at the end, Cole said: ‘Ladies and gentleman, that’s...”
– ladies and gentlemen, that’s Kevin Eck
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